James Sallis

Syphilis: A Synopsis

                                                  The global outbreak of syphilis

                                                  and gonorrhea spawned by World War

                                                  came as no surprise to the

                                                  medical world.

            I've had syphilis in London, in Paris, in Timbuktu, in Istanbul, on the road, in Hong Kong (it fit perfectly), in Delhis old and New. I've had syphilis in Warsaw, in Cracow, in Berlin (twice); in Juarez, in Rio, in Liverpool, in absentia. The most interesting experience I've had with syphilis was in Borneo. There, it takes the form of flying snakes, which drop onto you from the trees. The worst period is between 2 and 6 in the afternoon, especially during the rainy season (March to December). No one escapes. Several tribes consider it a sacred disease, proof of enduring ancestral spirits; for others it is a rite of passage, with coming of age marked from its first inception.

                                                                     #

                                                  In 1530 an Italian pathologist,

                                                  Hieronymus Fracastorius, wrote a

                                                  poem entitled Syphilis Sive Morbus

                                                  Gallicus, which described the

                                                  plight of a mythical shepherd lad

                                                  named Syphilus afflicted with the

                                                  French disease as punishment for

                                                  cursing the gods. The poem

                                                  recognized the venereal nature of

                                                  the infection and was a compendium

                                                  of knowledge of the time regarding

                                                  the disease.

                                                                #

              It is common fact that Adolf Hitler had syphilis. So badly was his vision impaired that it became necessary to construct a special typewriter with an inch ­high typeface; and from this typewriter came his later speeches, noted for their brevity and compression. Thus is syphilis a primary influence on the course of world events. One authority in fact stated that the Great War was fought "to make the world safe for syphilis."

              Contracting syphilis, then, affords one a considerable historical perspective, meanwhile serving to make one feel ever more intensely a part of his world.

            Among other famous syphilitics are Martin Luther, J.S. Bach, Voltaire, Thomas Aquinas, John Alden, Diogenes, and Pocahontas.

Of the literature dealing with syphilis, Pinocchio is, with its obvious symbol­ism, the best known.

                               #

The Colombian school believes that

syphilitic infection was endemic in

Hispaniola (Haiti) and was

subsequently contracted and carried

to Europe by Columbus' crew when

they returned to Spain following

his second voyage.

                                                                               #

            I have myself known, some of them close friends, 47 syphilitics; I met the lat­est just this afternoon at the Coolidge Corner Laundromat; others, I have won­dered about. (Bob, Tom, Mark, Mike.) Last month a friend and I were walking down or perhaps up 42nd Street. My friend nodded towards an old man with no nose who stood dispensing Scientology bulletins on the corner outside one of sev‑

The global outbreak of syphilis and gonorrhea spawned by World War 11 came as no surprise to the medical world.

I've had syphilis in London, in Paris, in Timbuktu, in Istanbul, on the road, in Hong Kong (it fit perfectly), in Delhis old and New. I've had syphilis in Warsaw, in Cracow, in Berlin (twice); in Juarez, in Rio, in Liverpool, in absentia. The most interesting experience I've had with syphilis was in Borneo. There, it takes the form of flying snakes, which drop onto you from the trees. The worst period is between 2 and 6 in the afternoon, especially during the rainy season (March to December). No one escapes. Several tribes consider it a sacred disease, proof of enduring ancestral spirits; for others it is a rite of passage, with coming of age marked from its first inception.

In 1530 an Italian pathologist, Hieronymus Fracastorius, wrote a poem entitled Syphilis Sive Morbus Gallicus, which described the plight of a mythical shepherd lad named Syphilus afflicted with the French disease as punishment for cursing the gods, The poem recognized the venereal nature of the infection and was a compendium of knowledge of the time regarding the disease.

19

It is common fact that Adolf Hiller had syphilis. So badly was his vision

ssary to construct a special typewriter with an inch­impaired that it became nece high typeface; and from this typewriter came his later speeches, noted for their brevity and compression. Thus is syphilis a primary influence on the course of

world events. One authority in fact stated that the Great War was fought "to make tile world safe for syphilis,"

Contracting syphilis, then, affords one a considerable historical perspective, meanwhile serving to make one feel ever more intensely a part of his world.

Among other famous syphilitics are Martin Luther, J.S. Bach, Voltaire,

Thomas Aquinas, John Alden, Diogenes, and Pocahontas.

Of the literature dealing with syphilis, Pinocchio is, with its obvious symbol­isin, the best known.

The Colombian school believes that syphilitic infection was endemic in Hispaniola (Haiti) and was subsequently contracted and carried to Europe by Columbus , crew when they returned to Spain following his second voyage.

I have myself known, some of them close friends, 47 syphilitics; I rnet the lat‑

est just this afternoon at the Coolidge Corner Laundfomat; others, I have won‑

dered about. (Bob, Tom, Mark, Mike.) Last month a friend and I were walking

down or perhaps up 42nd Street. My friend nodded towards an old man with no

nose who stood dispensing Scientology bulletins oil the corner outside one of several blood banks (Immediate Payment). Syphilis, my friend said. A 12‑year‑old Peurto Rican came up behind us, unwrapping a new stiletto from lavender tissue the gift shop had set it among. Crabs, he said.

                                                                                    #

            It was in Kansas City that I had this story from a young man met by chance at the out‑patient Coke machine:

            "So I got this call one day, see. It's summer, and this old biology teacher of mine's calling up to take me to a movie because I was his best student. He's leav­ing, got a new job. It's with the Health Department and he's going to be working with VD. I'm about fourteen, see. Then later I hear he's been dismissed and I say guess what for—yeah, he was passing out free samples."

         Syphilitics are often of such humorous turn of mind.

                                                                                    #

              There is the case of Prince Lentille, who upon learning that he had contract­ed syphilis, caused every courtesan of the Royal Family to be killed and interred dans les jardins de palais. This is the first record of syphilitic dandelions.

                                                                                    #

The first documented outbreak of

syphilis, or "the great pox,"

followed the siege of Naples by the

French in 1494, giving rise to the

now discounted legend that

Columbus’ men had brought

the disease back from the New World.

#

Jane?

Gail?

                                                                                    #

                                    It is obvious that neither theory

                                    of the origin of syphilis is

                                    entirely satisfactory.

                                                                                    #

Having suffered for some time from painful boils and difficult urination, a poet went finally to his physician.

You have contracted syphilis, the physician, a writer himself but only of prose, said following a brief examination. Examination consisted of asking the poet to drop his pants. Treatment involved asking the poet to drop his pants and turn around.

Not consumption? the poet asked sadly.

Keep trying! the physician said, plunging the needle in deep. He thought of his half‑completed novel, waiting at home.

In some cases syphilis is accompanied by a condition known as penicillin shock.

                                                                                    #

"He who knows syphilis, knows

medicine.." (Sir William Osler)

                                                                                    #

How to Get the Most Out of Your Syphilis

Syphilis Without Fear

The Syphilitic Cookbook

Joysores!

Le Mal Anglais

VD: Home Cures

General Paresis and Private Parts

                                                                                    #

            So they gave him the little book with the awful pictures and he promised to read it all. U.S. Government Printing Office. Public Health Service Publication No. 1660. Rubber‑stamped on flyleaf and title page:

Compliments of

New York City Dept. of Health

Bureau of Venereal Disease Control

LE 2‑4280

            That's as far as he gets. Immediately he calls a printer to have a tiny rubber stamp of his own made: Compliments of ________________.

            Lots of red ink.

                                                                                    #

            From syphilis we learn that sex is dangerous.

            Syphilis is often shared by husband and wife, much as they share the evening Globe, Johnson's shampoo, their paychecks, a bed, one of his T‑shirts, the last scoop  of ice cream.

It will be found that syphilis, though most generally introduced outside the marriage parameter, often functions to bring the family unit closer together.

In a recent poll, asked who had syphilis, 26 out of 30 pre‑schoolers raised their hands.

While in the dank jungles of the Orient new strains develop, breed profusely and prosper.

"That most democratic of diseases . . .”

                                                                                    #

And there is syphilis in Salt Lake City, like clouds. Syphilis storms the ram­parts at San Antonio. Syphilis floats raftlike and silently on the river towards Memphis. There is syphilis in Des Moines, there is syphilis in Grand Rapids, there is syphilis in San Jose, syphilis in Forts Worth and Lauderdale. There is syphilis in Oxford, Nice, Toledo. There is no syphilis in Boston.

I've always wanted to go to Boston.